Myself and my partner have been trying for babies for about 4/5 years. The infertility problem is on her side and we’ve tried most of the medical options available to her at least once without success. We’re now going through the expensive and emotional IVF last chance saloon doors.
I had tried to get my partner into blogging and computing in general, and by extension try to give her some understanding of what I do all day (she thinks I play games!) by explaining that to write about your difficult experiences sometimes helps to heal. With blogging you can also help other people or just provide info and tips on whatever it is you know most about and boy do we know about infertility now!
So having failed in my attempts to lure herself into my dingy, nerdy world of computing I thought – why don’t I blog about infertility from my own, male perspective. I’m guessing there aren’t many men out there talking about their infertility experiences.
So this week we’ve been up and down to Galway from Leitrim (5 hour round trip) for scans. Shes on a sniffer 4 times a day to suppress her hormones as well as injecting herself, suffering mood swings, hot flushes and being invaded by strangers up on the stirrups in the clinic. Me, I just sit there feeling guilty for getting off lightly! It is said that men have it easy in fertility treatment (unless the problem is on their side, then things can get particularly nasty!) but the difficulty for men comes in the form of the afore mentioned guilt and having to deal with VERY highly strung partners with hormones all over the place.
For any men reading this and hoping for some advice in dealing with a situation like this, forget it – I’m still trying to figure out how best to deal with it myself but the general consensus is that men just need to be sponges for their partners – be supportive, accompany them to the clinic all the time (I’ve only missed one out of dozens so far) and spoil the other half as much as possible with flowers, chocolates, holidays, etc…something I need to work on so she says!
Heres some sites with more info on Infertility in Ireland:
The Final Countdown (Blog)
www.irishinfertilitysupportforums.ie (a site I support technically)
Good luck to all affected , more from me on this later.
6 thoughts on “Infertility and Men”
Well my partner has polycystic ovaries so we at least know the reason but theres quite a lot of mystery infertility out there and thats the worst case – not knowing the cause.
Its early enough days for you both (even though it doesn’t feel like it probably) and theres lots of treatments available to you so I’d be positive enough.
Try eating a few pumpkin seeds!
We’re not in Ireland, but in Holland at the moment. Originally from Cork.
We have been through the first lot of standard tests, semen & bloods etc.
The swimmers have had one result with shocking bad motility, and one with excellent motility. The wife, after a first check by the reproductve specialist, checks out ok. So basically no one has a clue at the moment what is wrong.
But we are after 14 absolutely focussed months now and nothing, this long has me worn inside out so that’s why I nearly collapsed when I read 4/5 years.
So we are in the infertility infancy compared to you guys.
We are dealing with the local university hospital here which has a great reputation thankfully.
There’s a slight difference here in that you have mandatory health insurance, and your package dictates how much you have to pay extra for care. There is no difference in the care available to you. Monday week we are back there to mull over the latest sets of results and hopfully get SOME plan of action underway.
Which clinic are you attending (if you’re in ireland that is) and what treatments have you had so far?
Its taken 4/5 years to cover all the different treatments available, crossing them off one by one till there were none left but IVF!
4/5 years is mind blowing, we are at it just over a year and it’s bloody torture.
I’ve searched high and low for more stuff on this from a fella’s point of view with few results.
As for speaking out about TTC & infertility, I have the opposite problem, people can’t seem to shut me up about it!
I’ll be checking back on the progress, the very best of luck to you both.
(more can be found on my blog if there’s any interest)
Thanx Susan, appreciate it..its going well so far!
Just want to let you know I admire your courage and honesty! In speaking to people over the years with fertility problems, I know how hard it is for them. Maybe I don’t know but can only imagine how hard it must be! I wish you and your partner all the best in your situation! Also, I too believe it is much better to share than to keep it bottled up!